David Jon Foster Art
To have felt the pain that never was is still to feel the pain... awaken, you have nothing to love but love it self.
Oralce
Book one
   It seems as though I have traveled a life
time on this road that I have found.  The road
has been straight, clean and long.  I am
different now. I have grown stronger from
my travels.  I was someone else when I first
began this journey.

  Memories of the past seem like distant and
faded dreams.  Time has softened the edges
and obscured the feelings that are now
buried deep within.  Only twenty two years
in time have come and gone… not nearly
enough I’ll soon realize.                    

  The straight course that I thought this to
be is not so.  As the fog lifts, things feel
strangely familiar.  It is but a circular path
that I have traveled thus.  The smell is but a
familiar one.  Like a rose, yet I must also
inhale the toxic thorns that grow beside.  
Just as before, choking as they fill my throat.

  For I suddenly see the old vision and hear
the old voice calling my name.  The vision of
a place.  The voice of the feared one.  A place
that brought me great joy and bitter sorrow.  
A voice that once played with my emotions
beyond compare to the depths of my soul.

  I escaped from this place once before.  But
only with the slightest of margins and
barely with my life.  It was the help of a
young girl from Welch that made it true.  The
tender age of seventeen was she.  Not a virgin
she was but as close as God ever has made.  
We had buried this place together in the
depths of my soul with the sands of time.  We
then drank from the chalice of Love and
lived as one.  Children for me she did bare.  
Joy she did bring.  Songs she did sing, to my
heart.  

  How could my journey have taken me so
far… yet here I am again?  It is no use for me
to run.  My own compass has betrayed me and
I am now trapped.  Trapped between ecstasy
and gut wrenching torment, love and hate,
heaven and hell!  I now know The Oracle has
come for me once again.  My heart aches with
dripping pain as before.  My mind spins
violently with questions as before.  My eyes
cry an ocean of tears as before.  This can not
be true but the feelings are the same as I
remember, just like yesterday.   

  The sleeping giant has risen from its grave
to reveal it self to me.  I am weak and not
yet ready for this fight.  The falsehood calls
out to me and draws me in to its grasp.  Like
a fly to the plant of Venus.  Only to be
swallowed and consumed like many a fly
that has gone before.  Many will again and
again, till the end of time.  Thus is the curse
that is upon me.

  I must find strength.  Some how from some
where it must come forth.  This is my only
hope.  My friend from Welch lies beside me
sleeping to this day, yet she can not help me.  
Not as she did before, to do so would surely
destroy her.  This I could not bare.  Sacrifice
my self I must as if I fail, my last song I
will sing so she may find another.

  The old one is as strong as ever.  I must
battle as I did in my youth yet even harder
still I must, as not only my life is at stake
but that of my Love, the girl from Welch.  
This dragon I must slay alone, and slay it I
will..

  To be continued…  
Book Two
  How naive I to be.  Thinking I had any
control or ability to cope with the wrath of
the oracle.  Several moons have now past
since I last wrote.  I am losing the battle, In
fact I am not loosing, it’s over and I have
lost..                                     
Hope unwinds.

  Oracle…             you have won, I surrender
to your misery, I shall suffer to my last
breath.  I wish I had the strength to put
myself six in the earth.  That is the only
way to find my happiness.  My destruction
equals my peace.
I am weak and worn out,

  The end played out as thus reads as best
as I can tell,

  Something is wrong I can sense it in her
voice.  In her anger.  Mountains are my
disease, I am correct in my theory; there must
be other people of the world that are
suffering as I.  There must be others for the
music tells me so.  Yet I feel that I am all
alone in my pain.  The one I care for does not  
dance on the page with me.  I have asked her
to join me but she can not for her heart is not
for me to have and to love.            

  The words, the two words I never wanted
to here will ring forever in my ears.

  Although all people must have this
disease, must not all people suffer from it?  
Everyday, people seam to search for and find
new ways of evading the suffering and
torment it brings forth.  Even thou they may
be able to mentally subdue and avoid it; they
can not escape it I know, not with out giving
up their freedom and or life.  A person has
only two choices in life. Either face it and
embrace the disease as the life blood that it
gives us or die.

  Some times I wonder if the joy is worth the
pain;

  t d sms  fttng trbt fr ths mss t tms.  Ys t’
s tr t tms. Ys t’s tr… s tr ndd.

  I can’t let go I can’t give up;  I still may see
the eyes of brown that lay me down to sleep
a peaceful night of sweetness.  The brown
eyes that let me in to her soul, that is what I
want to see on the fifth day.  Curse the blue
of today, the blue that I can not see through.  
For if she is blue Ill know its over.    

  The memory is foggy.  "If you really believe
that then hang up and it’s over”.  Is that it?
Or was that it.?
I don’t know.  I don’t remember.  How can a
few words take me from heaven to hell in
seconds?  I thought we meant more than the
passing wind.  What has gone wrong? The
words that I speak betray me.  Damn myself,
for perfect I wish to be but perfect I am not.

  How can I hold on to what I have found?  
How can I become another man?  The one that
pleases her.  I can never become other than I
am.  I am as I am and even if I try to change I
still must travel on this coble stone road
that is the endless circle of the life I live.

  Honey is so sweet. It tastes soooooooo good
as it touches my ear with the softness of her
voice.  Shall I live another day to feel its
beauty? I must,  she wont let me down.  for
she told me so,  she told me so,  she told me
so …

  or was I hearing what I wanted to hear.   
No, she won’t let me down. Please give me a
sign hold me tight like I remember, don’t let
me go…

  It is not my fault for having this disease, it
is two plus two equals four that gives it to
me.  I have no choice.  The laws of nature
itself are not the disease. It is being able to
understand them that are the disease.  
Having the power to understand the laws of
nature also means having the power to
question two plus two equals five.  Two plus
two equals five is the equation that I suffer
from.  I am always trying to avoid two plus
two equals five.  I am trying to avoid and
escape their suffering and tormented
consciousnesses of my heart.

  The mountains do not need me.  They do not
grant me my blessing or care.  Mountains
could care less about me and my earthly
desires.  Still I must climb.  My obedience to
the suffering that is upon me is in escapable.  
Is my journey over or is tomorrow the start
of a new life?

   “Don’t lie to me”………………, what a fool am I to
doubt her, How could I hurt her.  A few more
words and closer to despair I get.  I want to
understand,
I want to talk, I am helpless, what can I do?  
I am sorry.

   A mountain is a mountain, a door is a door, I
can not climb to the summit with out you by
my side to help me.  I can not open the door to
your heart again unless you give me back the
key.  You said I could have a piece forever
and I believed you then and I believe you
now.  Hand it to me with your gentle kiss………
  
 I believe in you my dear……..    I am waiting.......…

  Accept her as she is and all her
appointments to my mind as truth.  I shall
forever;  I do solemnly and sincerely promise
and swear as God is my witness.  143

  “Don’t come here.”  “Go away”.  “It’s over” she
cried unto me. I begged for compassion and
forgiveness.  I begged for love………………….  

  Once upon a time she had told me she  
would not hurt me.   << <... . .> ,>>|--_-_^> 8
><<....................... > .-- ---    >>  .          ,   ..
>>plsplsplsdntdthstm>>

   The eternal suffering has begun My heart
bleeds with the pain of a thousand hearts,
not even the girl from Welch can help me,
for the oracle has come for her to.  Taken
her from me he has.  As a hostage she lives
now, so close but still a million miles away.  
The Oracle has won once again.  

  For three days and three nights since, the
sandman has cast his spell on me.  A night
mare of dreams and visions I have endured,
unable to awaken myself.  Then on the third
night I noticed what I thought to be five
ghostly figures.  They sat at the foot of my
bed and said un to me one at a time.

“I am James; you must overcome by submitting”.

“I am Matt; you will become a leader by
serving”

“I am Cor; you will become wise by becoming a
fool”.

“I am Rom; you will defeat your enemies by
loving them”.

“I am Acts; you will find joy through
suffering”.

  They then left just as fast as they came.  I
lay there in my bed thinking about who these
beings were.  Why did they come to me?  Then
a man came in through my window.  Yet I had
believed the window to be closed as it was a
cold and windy night indeed.  He sat down
beside me like my uncle did on his last
breath of the earth’s air.  He said "give me
your right hand"  just as my uncle did and I
gave it to him just as I did to my uncle.  He
then griped it just as my uncle did.  "I am
Jehovah" he said.  "I am ruler of all things.  
You have not yet learned my son.  Ye of little
faith are you."  I was awestruck by his
presence.  Thought I was dreaming yet once
again as I have been asleep now for days.

  "Have I not sent un to you one of my angles,
the one you call the girl from Welch?" He
said.  "Have I not blessed you with thy Son ?,  
thy Daughter?,  thy Father?,  thy Mother?,  
thy Brother?,  thy Sister?.  And still you
want more."

  "I shall cast the Oracle to the outer
reaches of your mind.  But you must know
that She will always be with you. You must
put your faith in me and no one else.  Only
then will you be able to withstand her
torment."

  "I shall set your Welch girl free.  Free to
comfort you in your time of pain once again as
she did twenty two years before."

"I have a plan for you and all my children.  
You shall never completely know the truth
of all things until the reaper comes for you.  
Do not displease me by doing the reapers
work for him.  Remember to put your faith in
me.  Fear not what Man, Woman or Beast can
do un to you for I shall be by your side as
you walk your cobble stone road of life.  
Then…….. one day you will ascend and dwell
with me in my kingdom……………. and know peace
at last"

  …He then vanished………………

  The girl from Welch then woke me from my
sleep with a gentle kiss and said, “I had a
crystal vision”  “don’t worry, its ok”, “I
understand you” “I keep my visions to myself”
…."I Love You, Now Always and Forever"……
The End.
Copyright © 2004 David Jon Foster
All Rights Reserved